The unimaginable

The past weeks have been rather difficult for my family. My dad was hospitalized twice the past weeks and he's not doing well. He has been sick in his legs for almost 4 years now, his wounds won't heal. Sunday the 8th of November a vein broke in his leg and he fell as a result of it. Luckily my mom was there to help him stop the bleeding until the ambulance came. Had my mom not been at home it could have ended very differently as my dad is not very mobile due to his leg issues.
He’s been in so much pain ever since. Just a few days ago he started bleeding again, the doctor suspected gangrene. He was hospitalized but luckily the first doctor made a mistake in judgment. However, seeing my dad at the hospital was horrible. He’s in so much pain and can barely walk.
It’s incredible hard watching my dad in so much pain and I feel so helpless, as I am not able to do anything at all for him. I just wish the doctors would figure out what is wrong with him and help him. I wonder how much pain one can take :/
I’ve been spending the past weeks with him and the rest of the family and finally returned home yesterday. I am left with this weird empty feeling inside, what if the unimaginable happened...
I've never had a parent this sick, in fact I haven't yet thought about the day I lose my mom and dad. It's always been so distant. You can tell me it's the way life is but I can't truly imagine my life right now without my dad. He's always been such a rock, though he suffered immensely throughout his life he's this incredible unselfish person always putting everyone else first.